10. Beyond Report Cards
A Parent’s True Test
As another school year draws to a close, I find myself filled with a mix of emotions – pride in my children’s growth, a touch of nostalgia, and a renewed sense of purpose as a father and founder of Sanad Trust Foundation. This time of transition always prompts reflection, not just on my children’s academic progress, but on the deeper hopes and dreams I hold for their futures.
It’s a reflection I believe every parent should undertake, perhaps even drawing inspiration from the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) as he sought solitude in the Cave of Hira. In those moments, did he contemplate his own children and their path in life? I can’t help but wonder.
When we neglect this introspection, we risk the “slow-moving train crash” syndrome. Small fractures occur along the track of our children’s school years – missed opportunities, unaddressed concerns – and before we know it, a major emotional, academic, or spiritual crisis derails their progress.
It’s a weighty responsibility, this parenting thing. Yet, if we can meticulously manage our finances and taxes each year, surely we can dedicate similar effort to our children’s well-being and educational journey. After all, they’ll spend roughly 2,340 days – nearly two years! – within the walls of a school, away from our direct guidance. Leaving that process on autopilot feels irresponsible, like forgetting about an auto-renewing subscription.
The recent celebration of Eid al-Adha amplifies these reflections. It’s a holiday with deep resonance for all parents, particularly fathers. We’re reminded of the unwavering faith of Ibrahim (peace be upon him) and the incredible sacrifices of his wife, Hajar (may Allah be pleased with her). Their story, enshrined in the Hajj pilgrimage, is a testament to the shared conviction and commitment required to nurture faith and goodness in ourselves and our children.
Prophets, too, were often parents. The examples of Prophet Muhammad and Prophet Ibrahim underscore the need for thoughtful reflection, prioritizing what truly matters, and making difficult choices for the well-being of our families.
My sincere hope is that we all find time for this introspection regularly, at the very least annually. Perhaps as the school year ends, or during Eid al-Adha when the stories of these divinely inspired parents are so vividly recalled. Let’s commit to honest assessments and decisions that benefit our children not just in the present (dunya), but in their eternal future (akhira).
May Allah grant us all clarity in our reflections and wisdom in our choices.
Until the next step,
Rehan
I’m an organizational psychologist, father & founder. After completing graduate school at Teacher’s College, Columbia University in New York I spent formative time with students & scholars at Dar al Mustafa in Tarim. I’ve worked with the UNHCR in Geneva & taught social sciences as an adjunct professor in Miami. I write, speak, & consult on parenting, education, & institution-building. I’m honored to serve as the executive director of Sanad Trust Foundation, a nonprofit that provides education, wellness, & community programs for children, families, & elders.
