11. A Muharram Moment: Reflections on Loss and Life
In the wake of my father’s passing, a profound awareness of my own mortality fueled a desire to honor his memory by paying my blessings forward. I ended up finding that supporting others with their loss became a cornerstone of my commitment to helping them navigate the pain of that sudden void. It can be overwhelming, but I learned that loss is a life lesson, and healing is a lifelong journey.
Finding Solace in Allah’s Creation
Allah, in His wisdom, has woven healing into His creation. Just as medicine discovers remedies in hidden plants or animal behaviors, profound solace can be found in reflecting upon aspects of His creation. Among the most impactful I found…
- The life of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) provides a guiding light. Studying his response to profound loss, his words, and actions offers solace and guidance for our own journeys through grief.
- The various phases of life, and the knowledge and certainty of a Hereafter. Imam al-Haddad’s The Lives of Man, a brief yet extraordinary exposition, awakened within me a deeper understanding of this.
- And time, in its unwavering obedience to Allah, serves as a magnificent healer. It allows the heart to beat again, slowly grants restful sleep, and eventually helps us articulate our emotions once more. While we measure time in years, months, and days, it’s our life passing within them all.
The Value of Time
As I write this, my teacher’s words on the Islamic new year resonate deeply: “We bid farewell to another year… These days and nights are what make up your lifespan… Only those of sound intellect realize the true value of these days and nights that pass.”
Time calls us to reflect and show gratitude, as God reminds us: “It is He Who made the Night and the Day to follow each other: for the one who wishes to reflect or show gratitude.”
In Muharram, a blessed month that marks the beginning of the Islamic year, opportunities for reflection abound. You could use January too, but every one of us should evaluate how we’ve invested our most valuable possession: time.
For this — loss, and its awakening reality, becomes the greatest economic advisor. It should compel us to invest our time in khidma (service), mahabba (love), actions that are good, and decisions that benefit.
Reflection and Gratitude
For those of us who are parents, we should ask ourselves: How can we instill in our children an appreciation for the preciousness of time? How can we model behaviors that prioritize meaningful connections and spiritual growth over fleeting distractions?
As professionals, how can our work be a form of khidma, serving not only our own ambitions but also contributing to the well-being of others?
Some perceive the establishment of Sanad Trust Foundation as a difficult endeavor, making my life hard…but in truth, it’s an effort to make my life easier and more efficient. Muharram serves as an annual reminder of the gratitude I feel for this path.
I hope you might take a moment, if you haven’t already, to reflect on your past year and the year ahead; as well as your parenting and professional path forward. And may that reflection be filled with gratitude, inspiring you to make the coming year even more fruitful.
Let the life ahead of you, its coming days and nights, move you.
Until the next step,
Rehan
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I’m an organizational psychologist, father & founder. After completing graduate school at Teacher’s College, Columbia University in New York I spent formative time with students & scholars at Dar al Mustafa in Tarim. I’ve worked with the UNHCR in Geneva & taught social sciences as an adjunct professor in Miami. I write, speak, & consult on parenting, education, & institution-building. I’m honored to serve as the executive director of Sanad Trust Foundation, a nonprofit that provides education, wellness, & community programs for children, families, & elders.
